


nighttime talks

by carrionkid



Series: Requests 2020 [3]
Category: X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: But Only Minor References, Developing Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrionkid/pseuds/carrionkid
Summary: a request for: anything ricstar u feel like writing--“Jesus fuck, dude,” Rictor’s hands fly to his face without thinking, “I think you broke my nose.”Shatterstar shoots him a dark look, eyes shining softly in the three am light, “You should have been more careful.”“No need to get like that,” he wipes his nose on the back of his hand, “We’re both figuring this out. Don’t be a dick.”He’s being a bit dramatic, it’s not like he can taste blood in his mouth, but there's a headache building up at the same pace as his frustration. And Star’s still sitting up straight as a board and glaring at him, growl rumbling in the back of his throat like it was his fault or something.“Look,” Ric pushes his hair out of his eyes, “We don’t have to do this. But cuddling kind of involves touching each other.”
Relationships: Julio Richter/Shatterstar
Series: Requests 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687084
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	nighttime talks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dontcallmejordy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontcallmejordy/gifts).



“Jesus fuck, dude,” Rictor’s hands fly to his face without thinking, “I think you broke my nose.”

Shatterstar shoots him a dark look, eyes shining softly in the three am light, “You should have been more careful.”

“No need to get like that,” he wipes his nose on the back of his hand, “We’re both figuring this out. Don’t be a dick.”

He’s being a bit dramatic, it’s not like he can taste blood in his mouth, but there's a headache building up at the same pace as his frustration. And Star’s still sitting up straight as a board and glaring at him, growl rumbling in the back of his throat like it was his fault or something.

“Look,” Ric pushes his hair out of his eyes, “We don’t have to do this. But cuddling kind of involves touching each other.”

Star flops back down on the bed, arms crossed. Rictor scoots over until he’s pressed against the wall, as much of a gap between them as he can manage. He’s not quite out of the danger zone, but there’s only so much space on these stupid military compound beds.

“Fine, we’re just gonna lie here.”

There’s a long stretch of silence, one that makes Rictor’s skin crawl, before Star shifts slightly.

“I… I am sorry.”

It’s hard to tell when Star’s being sincere sometimes because he’s so fucking monotone, but he’s kind of gently nudging at Rictor now.

“I’m fine, it’s fine.”

“I did not know that would happen,” Star elbows him again, still as gentle as he can ever be.

Ric frowns and rubs the new sore spot on his nose, like that’ll help or something. He’s more than a little bit pissed off, especially because up until now things were going so well! He finally had enough balls to ask Star to  _ cuddle _ with him, after months of trying to figure out if it would be a mistake or not.

Maybe it was, but he still asks, “Why did you do that?”

“I,” Star pauses, watching him carefully with this freaky glowing cat-eyes of his, “I am not used to  _ this.” _

He laughs, hard enough that it makes his headache worse, “Well shit, I’m not either but you don’t see me trying to break someone’s nose!”

“Do not  _ laugh! _ ” Star snaps, “It is not a  _ joke!” _

“Okay. I won’t laugh,” Ric sighs and rolls onto his back so maybe he won’t be so bothered by Star staring at him.

It's not that he doesn't  _ like  _ Star looking at him. In fact, it's kind of the opposite. He wants Star to watch him and see how cool he is and how kick-ass he is and maybe, just maybe, how handsome he is. But right now it's so quiet and they're so close and all he can think about is how he's never wanted any  _ girls  _ to look at him the same way he wants Star to.

"You touched me," Star says, like it explains everything in the whole wide world.

"That's kind of the point, dude. And you were fine when we started, so, like, what changed?"

Star makes this weird, uncomfortable sound, almost like it's what an alien  _ thinks  _ grumbling is like. Which is probably  _ exactly  _ what it is, because at the end of the day Star is still an alien. A super, super hot alien, who's a little bit scary and really into TV, but still an alien.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Ric doesn't want to be the asshole that took advantage of some kid who wasn't even from earth just because he's having a…

Well. He doesn't even want to think about what kind of crisis he's having right now.

Sure, Star's attractive. Like, really attractive, but his personality is more of kicking and biting and stabbing people (and himself) than anything that's normally like a personality. Maybe that's why he asked Star to do this in the first place.

"Okay, I guess you don't want to talk," Rictor says, even though he's still trying to make up his mind on whether he wants Star to leave or not, "Fine. I don't either."

"I said I did not know it would  _ happen,"  _ Star snarls, and the light glinting off his teeth gets outshined by the weird spark in his eyes, "There is  _ nothing _ left to say."

"You can leave if you're that upset about me trying to figure out why you almost broke my fucking nose! See if I care!"

Star grabs his arm in an instant, hard enough that he can feel nails through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. It feels like he  _ should _ be scared, but he isn't. Even though he knows what Star can do with his bare hands.

And then, Star wrinkles his nose and bares his teeth, "Nothing! No reaction! No attempt to defend yourself! You  _ are  _ all pathetic and weak on this fekting planet!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Rictor drags a hand down his face, "You were trying to defend yourself? From  _ me?  _ Did you think this was a trap or something?"

He doesn't really even need an answer. The look on Star's face is more than enough. It's one part confusion and one part anger, like he's not happy about being confused.

(But it's kind of cute. In a weird sort of way.)

Rictor reaches out to tuck Star's hair back behind his ear, and surprisingly enough, Star lets him.

"It's not a trap," he whispers, "I asked you because you're the only guy I'd trust to do this with."

Star narrows his eyes, glaring right into Ric's soul. But he makes the soft noise in the back of his throat that Rictor's pretty sure means he's at least not feeling murderous.

"And can you let go of my arm? You've made your point. I'd be dead if you really meant to hurt me, I can't defend myself because I'm slow and clumsy and blah blah blah. You say all that every time we train and it's getting kind of annoying."

Star eases up on Rictor's arm, leaving his hand just resting there like he's not sure what to do with it, "I do not wish for you to get cancelled due to stupid mistakes."

He doesn’t mean to laugh, but he can’t stop himself, “That’s about the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Star!”

But, his murderous alien bedmate just wrinkles his nose and bares his teeth again. 

It’s not like Star was ever that good with getting  _ jokes _ in the first place, but Ric seems to be consistently fucking it up with him tonight, which fucking sucks because he wants them to be  _ friends _ . 

(Maybe even more than that.)

Sure, he didn’t like Star  _ too much _ when they first met, but the weirdo’s grown on him a lot since then. And, Star just basically admitted that he  _ cares _ about him, but he’s too allergic to being serious to acknowledge it. He’s  _ never _ been good at serious stuff, which is probably why he’s so close with Tabs but Star always seems so severe about  _ everything. _

And he’s also really bad at taking a hint. He’s always so blunt it almost hurts but maybe, just maybe, that’s how Rictor can get through to him.

“Do, uh,” he rolls over so he doesn’t have to look at Star  _ again, _ “Do you… Like me? Or am I just the only person that’ll hang out with you?”

Well, that’s not totally true because Feral also hangs out with Star but he’s pretty sure they want to kill each other just a little bit, so it probably doesn’t really count.

“I do not  _ like _ anyone,” Star growls.

That hurts Rictor more than he expected. He wraps his arms around himself and squeezes tight and tries to ignore that all of the stuff they’ve been doing doesn’t mean  _ anything  _ at all because Star doesn’t like  _ anyone. _ He just tolerates people when he has to.

But it’s not like Ric’s guilt free either! He’s just been using Star to…  _ experiment _ with all the weird feelings he’s been having because he doesn’t have to explain  _ why  _ they’re weird to Star.

Star pokes him in the side, once, twice, three times, but he won’t look over.

“You are upset.”

“No, I’m not,” Rictor chokes out.

“Because I do not  _ like _ things? That is all that matters on this fekting planet? All that is talked about? That is why you are  _ upset? _ ”

And then, Star goes dead silent. He just gnashes his teeth together, wordlessly and loud enough to make this weird clicking noise.

If anyone deserves to be mad right now, it should be Ric! After all, he just found out that everything they’ve done together in secret, late at night when everyone else is asleep, doesn’t mean anything! But Star seems really really pissed off, so he’s not going to say  _ that. _

Rictor could be mean and tell him that yeah, everyone finds him fucking weird and uncomfortable because he just  _ watches  _ them and he doesn’t have any opinions or any hobbies or anything he  _ cares  _ about other than being the  _ best _ at everything. But at the end of the day, he still wants these weird little moments with Star.

He shifts back to his side, since it really feels like he should be looking at Star when he’s about to spill his guts out, “Look, I--”

“I do not know  _ how, _ ” Star’s voice sounds thick, like the words keep getting caught on his teeth, “No one  _ explains.” _

“It’s, uh. It’s, like, a  _ feeling. _ You… Can’t really  _ explain  _ it.”

Star whines, and it barely sounds like a human noise.

“Like this? I…” Ric’s face flushes and he hopes Star can’t tell, even with those freaky alien eyes of his, “I like it a lot. Even if it feels like my heart’s about to explode sometimes.”

“It  _ hurts?”  _ Star’s eyes get wide and just a little nervous, “It  _ hurts  _ you?”

“Not always. And it’s usually worth it.”

Maybe he’ll get lucky and Star’ll leave it at that instead of playing 21 questions all night long. Usually, he doesn’t mind explaining things, but a guy’s got to sleep, especially with their training schedule.

Ric watches him purse his lips and hum a little, like he’s thinking it over. Then, he inches a little bit closer to Rictor, not quite as close as they were before Star elbowed him in the face, but it’s a start. 

  
It almost makes him think that it might be  _ okay _ to feel this way.


End file.
